My wife takes me for walks every weekend to collect my favourite treats, the Weekend FT plus the Saturday and Sunday Times newspapers. Then it’s back home for drinks. This is strong drink since thirst quenching is secondary to mind numbing which is necessary to plough through the usual diet of fund managers hidden charges, new pension and savings legislation and the obligatory expert commentary from career journalists, failed politicians turned asset managers and high-charging execution brokers doubling as the investors friend. The one enduring feature of these journalist is their ability to dump old theories once disproved and quickly adopt another theme until their new analysis also proves useless. Take gold for example, for weeks I was reading this columnist preaching the virtues of being a gold bug. As soon as gold crashed, there I was hoping every week to read some mitigating piece only to find that the now amnesic journalist has quickly moved on to more topical issues like fund managers charges, the benefits of buy-to-let property or some other fairy tale for the amateur investor. So why do I continue to read this weekly pulp of stuff that I don’t like? I dunno!
I have been debating with myself over the past few months on how to fill the time between identifying an investment, acquisition and value stripping. Then, as I was watching the television with my wife on Wednesday, 11 June 2014, the perfect idea struck me. I was watching Danny from Lancashire in a BBC episode of Del Boy and Dealers. Danny fancied himself as an auctioneer and after ten years wheeling and dealing in the most eclectic assortment of antiques and collectables, he decided now was the time to realise his dream and hold a house auction. Basically, Danny’s antique buying was now outstripping his selling and his late mum’s house was overflowing with his stuff. Danny is definitely someone that I would like to meet and have a beer with. He’s a true English eccentric dreaming all the way to banking a million pounds just like Del Boy did in Only Fools and Horses. So, how can I leverage Danny’s wheeler-dealer cum auctioneering skills to write about my own value stripping experience in the financial markets?
I could use this blog to take readers through the value stripping process from identification to value stripping just like Danny did on the TV. But Danny has a decade of wheeling and dealing so I need to convince readers to keep the faith with me by proving that I’ve done time and there’s depth to my leadership in this one year journey. Yes, the journey is one year long and hopefully, I could emulate Danny and dream myself into being a millionaire. And as Danny said to Radio Lancashire when asked whether he’ll be taking on the likes of Christies and Sotheby’s, I don’t see why not!
Well, my own journey in the financial markets started in 1992 after I resigned from Logica UK and started out as an independent consultant in the City of London. My first decade through the financial jungle was enjoyable and I delivered the first colour-coded quantity balance (QB) card for metals and bullion ever used on the London Metal Exchange (LME) ring for Rudolf Wolff & Co., a founder member of the LME and with my reputation at an all time high delivered the same for Deutsche Bank who had just acquired Sharps Pixley, a metals and bullion founder member of the LME. Then it was off to Prebon Yamane, an open-outcry money broker in Bishopsgate, to develop their Cash and FRA arbitrage trading analytics. This was a remarkable assignment since I successfully backed myself to migrate Prebon Yamane brokers from the old video-switching keypad that flicked between financial information pages provided by Reuters, Telerate and Knight Ridder to a fully integrated BT Syntegra product called OTSView and redevelop all the analytics using new object oriented routines. Having blasted through this assignment in 6 months flat and having met memorable characters like Goldie, I moved to NatWest Markets (now RBS) for a 4-year stint in the same Bishopsgate building as Prebon. Then in 1999, off I went to South Africa for a year on Merrill Lynch’s tab to ensure that their research analysts were Y2K compliant. I reckon from about 2002, the enjoyment of being in the City started to wane as I became more aware of a new generation of chancers and spivs in Canary Wharf streaming in from Essex and Tower Hamlets. I have to admit that, even though I’m hardworking, the Canary Wharf environment was an unpleasant 10-year stretch for me. Too much of the good life in the City had left me with an over-refined attitude and low tolerance for the new breed of tossers.
OK. How does this experience as a financial engineer equip me for life as a value stripper? Well, I will share a few quips of my experience with you. The best one was while working for Credit Suisse in Canary Wharf. I received a letter from Fidelity, the administrator of my defined contribution pension, complaining that I was not playing fair and my switching technique was detrimental to other scheme members! What brought this on was the fact that I was arbitraging the range of 20-21 index and other funds provided by Fidelity to members so that they can take control of their retirement pot and eventual pension. I was increasing my pension fund by an average of 25% per annum. So I decided to tone down my arbitrage operations by taking great care not to excite Fidelity but still averaging 20-25% annual return. When I left the company after almost a decade, I made sure that Fidelity couldn’t get back at me with dodgy deferred members charges. I immediately transferred my pension pot to a private SIPP. You may have noticed that my intensive experience at Prebon had equipped me with the terrible habit of arbitraging – i.e. making a risk free profit whenever the opportunity presented itself. It was here that I met the lead arbitrage dealer who asked me how much I was making developing analytical models. I was so embarrassed that I replied with the half-question: I’m sure it’s not as much as you. To which he replied he was on £250k basic plus bonus, in addition to his part-time lectureship at the LSE. Never mind, he taught me a few secrets of the trade which enriched my knowledge.
So, I will kick off the next phase of my journey from now, the 13th June 2014 and end on 12th June 2015 with the key objective of demonstrating my barefoot techniques of value stripping at finance auctions. This concept will be made clear as I select one target at a time and systematically process all relevant data and information available in the public domain to strip value at each stage of the journey. I will also be highlighting some of the hazards and red flags which can seriously upset one’s planning.
Enough said, let’s go value stripping!
Oodutty